I'm sorry Venice, I wasn't aware of your game. You see, I was used to Cannes being the film festival pace car when it came to standing ovations. The magical place where headlines about 7-minute ovations magically transformed into 10-minute ovations. And perhaps seeing those updated headlines, mere 9-minute ovations got upgraded to 11-minute ovations. To which the 10-minute ovations (which were 7-minute ovations) got upgraded to 11-minute ovations too! This, in turn, led the 9-minute-turned-11-minute ovations to jump to 13!
Right now there's a battle brewing between The Testament Of Ann Lee and The Smashing Machine in Venice. First, to level-set...
Cate Blanchett, who is without question one of the greatest actresses of all time, continues to underperform when it comes to applause. She was seen at Cannes last year getting a mere 4-minute ovation for her role in Rumours. This year at Venice:
That's better. I mean" nearly" sounds a lot like 11-minutes, but we're in a good range now. That could have "won" Cannes last year – at least until The Substance went from 9 to 11 to... 13...
Elordi was last seen at Cannes getting a 4-minute ovation for Oh, Canada. 4-minutes! How embarrassing (though a bit better than the original 3-minute report, sheesh). Wait, no, he actually skipped that premiere because he was filming... you guessed it. And now, no one's star seems to be rising faster...
14! Elordi in tears! Del Toro has done it again! Though we still have a ways to go to the mythical 22-minute ovation that Pan’s Labyrinth got at Cannes in 2006. With inflation, that's like 45 minutes in 2025 ovation time. Still, we can get more out of Elordi and Frankenstein, right? Right.
15-and-a-half ALSO! What a comeback to a very precise measurement of time. Just one second less and The Smashing Machine gets taken down by The Testament of Ann Lee. Phew. Close one.